What it means to love someone

In today’s culture, the word ‘love’ means different things to different people. You can love your husband or wife, your country, your dog, your new mobile phone and your house. But you don’t love your husband or wife the same way you love your mobile phone or your house, right? The movie and tv kind of love where you fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat isn’t real love, it’s selfishness and immaturity.

The Bible word agape (God’s love) is an unconditional commitment to love that’s rooted in an unchanging decision. It always gives and doesn’t change whether the love is returned or not. It’s a decision of your heart to seek the other person’s highest good, no matter how they may respond.

When the King James Bible translators came upon the Greek word agape, in addition to using the English word ‘love’ for it, they often chose the word ‘charity’. This was meant to reinforce the idea that love is a selfless, unconditional, giving love. And as such, it directs kindness, respect, and loyalty towards the loved one.

‘By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is, so also are we in this world.’ (1 John 4:17 ESV) What causes us to stand out from the world isn’t our words but our love for one another. When we can overcome our differences, when we can cross lines of denomination, race, and culture and truly love one another, the world is drawn to Christ and it pays attention to what we say (see John 13:35).