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Learn to listen
‘You should be quick to listen and slow to speak.’ James 1:19 CEV
In order to build good relationships, you must become a good listener. And in order to be a good listener, you must do these:
(1) Listen without interrupting. And that’s true, even when you know more than the person talking to you! Respect them enough to value what they say and listen attentively until they’re finished.
(2) Try to understand their point of view, feelings, thinking, and needs. In other words, listen to understand. Good listening is hearing what people actually think, mean, or feel, not what you imagine they should think, mean, or feel. Instead of guessing, politely ask, ‘Am I understanding you correctly? Do you mean…? Are you feeling…?’ Don’t assume—check with them.
(3) Avoid rushing to conclusions. Listen without judging. If what they say doesn’t quite add up, keep listening. ‘He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.’ (Proverbs 18:13 NKJV) When you hear more, it may make sense.
(4) Refrain from putting them on the defensive. Listen without correcting, countering, or devaluing. Saying, ‘That’s not the way it was,’ or ‘What did you expect?’ or ‘You’re just being silly and too sensitive’ breaks real communication.
(5) Accept their perceptions and feelings as valid expressions of a valued person. Validate the speaker. By saying, ‘If I understand you correctly, you’re thinking… feeling… am I right?’ Ask them to help you get on the same page with them. Saying, ‘Given what you have told me, I can see why you would feel that way,’ will increase their willingness to consider your thoughts and accept the solutions you offer.
If you want to win people and influence them, learn to listen.
SoulFood: Isa 58-62, John 9:1-12, Ps 15, Pro 29:4-6
The Word for Today is authored by Bob and Debby Gass and published under licence from UCB International Copyright ©
Uses data: approx 58Mb per hour of listening
We’re thrilled to announce that this year we have launched the inaugural edition of The Word for Today in Kiribati.
This marks a significant milestone, bringing this devotional to the wonderful people of Kiribati, and providing them with encouragement in their Spiritual journey.
If you or your friends would like to receive a Free copy of The Word for Today, please contact us here and we can organise getting you your copy. We have a limited number of books available, so don’t delay. And make sure you give us your name and phone number so we can be in touch for future editions.
We know the life and encouragement that The Word for Today gives to those that read it so we would like to ask you to also consider making a donation to help continue to make this freely available for the people in Kiribati. You can donate here.
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